i'm forcing myself to sit and reflect on the ramifications of graduation. bear.. bare...bair with me.
graduation : beth as
1)candy : beth
2)freedom : prisoner
3)thunderstorm : small child
4)funeral : widow
5)sticker : kindergartner
this is it.
no more premade dinners at the dc. no more close friends less than 5 minutes away. no more early-morning-nights (we hope). no more excusable immaturity. no more papers. no more senseless reading. nowhere to go, whenever i feel like it, just to hang out with whoever i find there. no more christian bubble.
many more dishes to clean. many new faces. many hard decisions. much more faith in God. much more money. many more bills. many bad influences. much more required strenth. many new joys, yet undiscovered.
i hate being off-campus right now. this is my last day to spend with my best friends of the past three years. they're packing up, moving out, passing each other on the stairs, exchanging smiles and memories. i'm sitting on my couch crying because i'm missing my good-byes.
tomorrow, they all leave. who knows if i'll see them again before heaven. we all say to call and drop by. but when well i be passing through pennsylvania or florida. when will i be in the neighborhood of maryland that i could just drop by and see any of these people?
see you at the couch? not anymore.
4am conversations on relationships and life in general? not anymore.
senseless study sessions with no studying what-so-ever that left us so much closer after each one? not anymore.
complaining about anything and everything, just to hear ourselves talk? i'm still gonna do that. but with different people. i can only hope i can find them out there. i had everything just right. i liked where i was. i liked who i was with. i liked my life. a lot. now i have to start over.
help me God to find the strength in You.
4 comments:
beth... reading this made me want to cry... :-( you should come by and hang out here anyway... i'm going to miss you soooooo much! *tears*
ah the complications of life...
at least you have a chance to say goodbye :)
keep it real. keep it strong. peace out.
I dont like that I have to post as anonymous...
This is Frankie. You can visit me anytime. I will be in Indiana for quite some time, and I suspect you will be near or in it for awhile too. I miss you too, I missed you already with you only off campus! < sigh > anyhow, all that to say that I will be much closer than maryland or florida, so you dont have an excuse ;)
Thank you Beth. It takes a lot of heart to be real and honest on a web page that anyone could read. You made me miss "the bubble" and to be thankful that at one time I had a place in it. Starting over is hard, but at least the memories are good, and they won't ever leave you.
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