i teach three year olds

i've been collecting some stories and it's high time i shared them with the world.

i have six three-year-old boys. for their privacy, i will call them billy bob, jimmy joe, abdul, john, paul, and ringo.

billy bob doesn't like to color in the lines, follow rules, obey the teacher... but he's cute as all get out.
jimmy joe is also cute. and he likes to follow billy bob. the only difference is that when he gets in trouble, he cries. billy bob shows no emotion. at all. ever. actually, jimmy joe is much better behaved than billy bob. except when he follows billy bobs bad example. and that's a lot.
abdul doesn't speak much english. i'm not sure when he's disobeying and when he's genuinely confused at the words coming out of my mouth.
john ... john is definately the most mature one of the bunch. sometimes i think he's forty.
paul is very sweet and always follows directions. he's very cute. i want to take him home with me.
ringo. hmm... ringo. he's.... cute. :-D he can follow directions. he can obey. he can diliberately deceive. he's tricky tricky. and his dad looks like adam sandler.

hmm.. so now for the stories. i won't tell them all at once. must ration.

so... my discipline method is colored bears, ok? green is good. if you end your day on green, you get a sticker on a card and a marble in the jar. when your card is full, you get a prize just for you. the the jar is full, we get a class party. next color is yellow. this is a warning color. the only thing that happens is no sticker or marble. then it's orange. this means time-out (and no sticker or marble). the red bear is reserved for those who cannot obey to save their lives and it means a note home and a trip to the principal (cue dark threatening music).

anyways, stories. yay!
billy bob's gotten a lot of red bears. bet you couldn't figure that one out. he makes my day interesting. he also makes me go crazy. for example. the first day he got a red bear: he locked himself in the bathroom stall and refused to go potty or come out. he literally ran around in there (it was the handicap stall) for like at least five minutes. finally i tell abdul to crawl under the door and unlock the door. that was the dumbest thing i could have done in that situation. after i mimed to abdul three times the motion of crawling under the door, he finally went under, but then he just stood in there. i was looking through the crack trying to get him to unlock the door, but he just stared blankly at me. why didn't i choose a native english speaker? because i'm retarded. after a couple minutes, i convinced abdul, with the rest of the boys cheering him on, to unlock the door, and i proceeded to open the door (the boys were cheering at my victory - except billy bob) and grab billy bob by the arm to take him out. then, what does he scream? "i gotta go POTTY!!!" well, even in this situation, an experienced teacher does not ignore a plea like that. so i let him go, and he's not been allowed to lock a stall door ever since.

well, it's dinner time. i hope you enjoyed my story! there are lots more to come, don't worry.

bye!

and by the way.. NOT pregnant.