Thursday, May 27

366 days

yesterday was josh and my one-year anniversary. i can't believe it's been a whole year of marriage already. it didn't seem wierd, or even special really. it just felt.. normal. in my defense, we did date for three years before we got married. although i know some have gone longer (*cough* tree...) for those who don't know me, tree is a person... not a plant.

after josh got off of work, we went to ft. wayne to celebrate. we ate at the olive garden, and for the first time, we were able to say, "yes!" to the free wine samples. she didn't even card us, just asked if we were old enough. but we ended up ordering raspberry lemonade (virgin).

after dinner, which i didn't really like mine by the way (only get the parmesian chicken if you really really really like strong parmesian) but that's ok because then the waitress took it off the bill (wow, they give you free alcohol and food too, if you don't like it!) we went and saw the movie, Troy. the movie was really good... with the small exception of the acting ability of one particular actor: brad pitt. maybe i'm being unfair, maybe i just have preconceived notions about him as an actor and therefore could not properly place him in the role he was playing. but during the movie, i kept getting distracted and pulled from the experience because it seemed brad pitt wasn't playing achilles, he was playing himself. he was playing Pouty-Faced Bad Boy Who Gets To Walk Around Naked And Sleep With All The Girls Cuz I'm So Hot. i know, i know... that's achilles! but! pitt didn't have the right persona for that age, i didn't think. he's just not one who transcends theatrical history very well. don't get me wrong, i like him as an actor - loved fight club - but this movie would have been better if they would have gone with talent over name. orlando was awesome. whoever played hector was unbelievable. sorry, i didn't stay for the credits to find out names of actors. the movie got out at 12:15, and i had to get up at 5:30 to go to work!

so, we came back to our humble little apartment, where paul was sleeping on the couch, and went straight to bed - we'll have to fulfill that stale-cake-tradition tonight.

we might have a cook-out tonight! if it doesn't rain and get everything all soggy. all the foso guys who are here for the summer will come, i believe. if you're in the area, stop on by! (don't know what time...) if you don't know where i live, then i probably don't know you, in which case, please don't come. if i do know you and you don't know where i live, then you'll know who to ask to find out, won't you? it's BYOM (bring your own meat) except i think joel's bringing a bunch of hamburger...

anyway, i should get to work. anytime one of the housekeepers walks by, they give me dirty looks cuz they're working and i'm NOT. :-D

remind me to talk about the new guy i had to train. that's a blog in itself.

bye!

Sunday, May 23

it is finished... it is beginning

i'm a college grad. i'm a taylor alumnus. alumni. alum. and to prove it, i'll show you the receipt for the $1 i already gave them as such.

the graduation ceremony was beautiful. you could tell a lot of prayer went into it. for example: it was the first day in two weeks where not only were there no storms, but there were blue skies! and a lot of sunburnt noses. every member of the class of 2004 now has the 'mark of the grad' - a v-shaped tanline on the forehead. except deborah moody, whose hat flew off while singing in chorale.

i didn't get to see melissa. i did get to hug lori. and we got a picture. ashley spent the night. paul's there as we speak. everyone else is gone. i'll get over it; i always do.

so far, being a college grad is fun. i've gotten a lot of money. that's always good. i've also gotten a lot of dessert. i got free cheesecake at the icehouse because the waitress misunderstood kasper's sarcastic remark on it being my birthday. but i accepted it, on the grounds that i felt college graduation was a better reason for free cheesecake than a birthday anyway. it could also be considered an early anniversary cheesecake. since our first anniversary is on wednesday. anyway, that night josh, paul, ashley, and i went out to applebees for desserts and drinks. yep, that's right folks. we were no longer under the ltc, and we were all over 21, and we designated a driver, and we ordered ourselves some drinks. nothing unlawful. nothing unbiblical. nothing unchristian. :) nothing you can do about it either. and today we went to ivanhoes and i got myself all fat on icecream. so.. the 'real world's' been pretty good to us so far.

so i just realized that i haven't been talking at all about our plans for the future. for those of you who don't talk to me on a regular basis... you have no clue. you also don't know that i have this smooth sultry voice thing going on because of the accumulation of kindergarten germs that culminated in a recent chest cold. i sound sexy.

you're right, flash.. i need attitude control...

anyway, my future! josh and i are going to purdue in the fall where he's working towards a graduate degree (he hasn't decided if he wants masters or doctorate) in electrical and computer engineering. i'm currently looking up job openings in the west lafayette area elementary schools. well, i'm trying to look them up. something always holds me back. i can't really look very long before i find myself at addictinggames.com or some similarly distracting site (such as blogger.com)instead. silly subconcience. subconscious. subconshus. don't you realize that your immaturity is costing me a finacially secure future?

ha! so i'm working at the hotel... and a guest who comes regularly just asked me whether i've put out my resume. he's holding me accountable! i'm glad God uses people like that in my life to keep me on track. isn't it funny? that He would use a complete stranger? the wonders never cease.

to continue on with the parts of our future that we do know, or are almost decided on, at least... we think we're going to live in married student housing. it's not the biggest. in fact, it's quite small. but it's cheap. and it's on campus, so josh won't have to walk (parking on campus is out of the question - you thought taylor was bad!). all utilities are included. we could even get high speed internet for $50/year. or maybe it was per semester. either way, that's pretty good. we would get a two bedroom... for the child--- i mean josh's office...

that's right. no kids. the plan is not until after grad school. sometimes i whimper and whine and demand a baby. other times i'm glad josh has the good sense to see that financially, emotionally, spiritually... we're not ready. but babies are so CUTE! :-D

well, that's all the future-planning that we've done at the point in time.

i'm going to go do something worth-while...

like read harry potter.

bye!

Friday, May 21

oh my

i'm forcing myself to sit and reflect on the ramifications of graduation. bear.. bare...bair with me.

graduation : beth as
1)candy : beth
2)freedom : prisoner
3)thunderstorm : small child
4)funeral : widow
5)sticker : kindergartner

this is it.

no more premade dinners at the dc. no more close friends less than 5 minutes away. no more early-morning-nights (we hope). no more excusable immaturity. no more papers. no more senseless reading. nowhere to go, whenever i feel like it, just to hang out with whoever i find there. no more christian bubble.

many more dishes to clean. many new faces. many hard decisions. much more faith in God. much more money. many more bills. many bad influences. much more required strenth. many new joys, yet undiscovered.

i hate being off-campus right now. this is my last day to spend with my best friends of the past three years. they're packing up, moving out, passing each other on the stairs, exchanging smiles and memories. i'm sitting on my couch crying because i'm missing my good-byes.

tomorrow, they all leave. who knows if i'll see them again before heaven. we all say to call and drop by. but when well i be passing through pennsylvania or florida. when will i be in the neighborhood of maryland that i could just drop by and see any of these people?

see you at the couch? not anymore.

4am conversations on relationships and life in general? not anymore.

senseless study sessions with no studying what-so-ever that left us so much closer after each one? not anymore.

complaining about anything and everything, just to hear ourselves talk? i'm still gonna do that. but with different people. i can only hope i can find them out there. i had everything just right. i liked where i was. i liked who i was with. i liked my life. a lot. now i have to start over.

help me God to find the strength in You.

Wednesday, May 19

tears of joy

congratulations, ashley and paul! yesterday, paul asked ashley to be his wife! the whole story is here: http://www.css.tayloru.edu/~apeck/wws/ read it; it's cute. i am so happy for them - they are the CUTEST.

sigh, to be young and engaged. the only milemarker i have left in my love life is kids, stretch marks, and fat thighs.

maybe i should talk about happier things...

seriously, i've noticed that my blogs tend to be pessimistic and sarcastic. that's funny because that's not who i am in real life. does it seem that way to anyone else? maybe this is my alter ego's chance to escape. maybe it's sick of the peppy cheery speak. and i can't realistically be sarcastic in a kindergarten classroom, so it doesn't get much escape. this must be my healthy, theraputic alternative.

did i use 'alter ego' correctly? it occurred to me that i'm not entirely sure of the meaning. that's what happens to one's mind when constantly surrounded by five-year-olds. and then going home to a nano-satellite-technology-obsessed husband who insists on explaining to me every detail on his new discoveries in attitude control (this is what keeps the satellite from careening out of control once in earth's orbit). oh wow... some of it's starting to sink in! so you see, my intellectual life is kinda unbalanced, which unbalances all other aspects of my life as well.

that's my excuse and i'm sticking to it.

wow, did i drift off-subject or what.

CONGRATULATIONS ASHLEY AND PAUL!!!!

Tuesday, May 18

two more days

i got observed for the last time. it was supposed to be informal, but she stayed allllll day and wrote it up and everything. liar. and of course, the weather was crazy, and i'm still feeling the effects of the night before last, so not only were the kids going berzerk (sp?), but i was too. but i comfort myself with this thought: two days left.

the port is out of my hands and off of my mind. it's done. when my classroom teacher was looking through it, i said, "if you find any spelling errors, don't tell me." that probably came off the wrong way, but i seriously didn't even want to look at those stupid ROY G. BIV painstakingly organized pages. yeah, that's right. i got this fancy pastel paper (because when you're el. ed., it has to sound smart AND look pretty... stupid combination, i know). and then i organized the papers so that they would go in ROY G. BIV order. i'm anal. i hate it.

oh, and the p.m. class finally got fifty pennies (i explained that in a previous blog, right?) so they get free recess tomorrow. yay. wait. i'm not even teaching tomorrow. crap. i work this long and hard and they finally acheive this goal... the day before Mrs. Friday takes over the class again. wonderful.... i love irony. well, at least i don't have to plan anything tonight. sigh. and thursday there's a sub, so i get to teach again, but it'll just be a fun day. i think maybe i'll have them make ME a shirt, since noah's was such a success.

so today, i guess, was my last day of real student teaching. let's all shed a tear...

Monday, May 17

but for the grace of God...

i wasn't able to post this on the 17th, but thanks to 'post options,' it looks like i did. tricked ya.

anyway, the reason i wasn't able to post this on the 17th... the 17th was a crazy day.

the port(folio) was due. so, being the intellegent person that i am, i stayed up until four a.m. to finish it. but wait.. i didn't finish it. i ran out of ink. oh yeah. so i stayed up til four a.m. to... not finish my port. that's right. do the math. i got two hours of sleep. then i went and taught two kindergarten classes. and during my lunch break, i went to wal-mart and bought more ink.

so i was tired, hungry, frustrated, and... oh yeah, CRAMPY. that's right boys, not cranKy... i was doubled over with horrible gut-wrenching pain. so i bought generic ibuprofen at wal-mart on my lunch break. and a diet pepsi.

so you would think that i would mark this day 'horrible' and file it as such, but no. the title is 'but for the grace of God' for a reason. i had a WONDERFUL day! the kids cooperated, were quiet, worked well together, listened... you name it! i wasn't even tired all day (don't know what was in that diet pepsi...) and i think i even found the miracle cure for cramps... generic ibuprofen and diet pepsi. must be the aspartame, but i have never taken anything that worked like that combination did.

in all honesty, today was a day when God was totally obvious in my life. i knew that nothing i was doing was myself. i was too sleep-deprived to have consciously done anything remotely intelligent. everything i did, every decision i made, even the attitudes of the children.. all God.

thank You.

Saturday, May 15

t-7 days

so, a week from today, i graduate from college. woah. (and i'm sure that comment is being echoed all throughout taylor as each member of the graduating class of 2004 comes to this realization, so i know i'm being very unoriginal). but still!

student teaching is going very well. i brought in a penny jar for each class, and a bag full of pennies. I told each class that whenever they did something responsible, respectful, fair, or trustworthy (the four pillars of character), they could get anywhere from one to ten pennies. when they earned fifty cents, they could buy a free recess. its awesome. now, whenever i want their attention, i can just rattle the penny jar. my voice has been saved.

we made noah's shirt the day before yesterday. it's unbelievably cool. (remember, i said that i'd make him a shirt cuz he ran the indy mini.) anyway, it says "i'm the best" on the front, and "hands down" on the back and is covered with little five-year-old handprints. cute and cheesy, just the way i likes it. and he wore it yesterday, to all his classes and then on a date with his girlfriend. awesome. the kids were so proud of their work, they were like, "your brother-in-law is gonna love this! this is sooo coool!" and they were right.

let's see, what else has been going on? my portfolio is halfway done. and it's due on monday, so depending on whether you look at that as half-full or half-empty, i'm either ok, or hopefully lost.

oh! we got to watch a house burn down yesterday at school. there was a really old rundown house actually on school grounds. it was a safety hazard, so they had to get rid of it. so they decided to burn it down. on a school day. wow, they're smart! actually, it was really cool because the kids got to go watch it and the firemen did this whole lesson on what do to if your house catches on fire. a much better learning experience than just watching a video, or listening to firemen speak at an assembly. then, they put the fire out and third through fifth graders got to tour the burnt house. they didn't let the kindergarteners go in. boo. then, after we all went back inside, they finished burning down the house. the pyro in me was satisfied.

well, if i don't stop writing this, you'll never get to read it. so i'm done.

beth

Tuesday, May 11

my comments are on vacation

so, inbetween the time when i set up this account and now, blogger decided, 'hey, we're missing a crucial part of the blogging experience - the comments!' so they changed EVERYTHING to be more user friendly, and added comments as an option. they also come up with sweet new templates. so, me being the change-aholic that i am, i wanted one of their sweet new templates. i also wanted their comment thing because it's, i dunno, easier for ppl? unfortunately, all that change was too much for my poor sickly comments. they have passed on, disappeared, gone on vacation. sadness. so now i need your help. go back and put your comments back on my blog. i hate looking and seeing no comments, it makes me feel rather unloved. and if you knew me at all, you would know that i can't handle that. so help put me at ease... put your comments back where they belong- bring them back from vacation. and ashley, i'll work on bringing your grandma back from vacation... and that chick. :-D

beth

unbelievable

PARTY AT MY HOUSE, I HAD A GOOD DAY!!!

i had my first good observation today. she said my shirt was too short. MY SHIRT WAS TOO SHORT! that was the best critisism she's given me thus far. and i have jamie larson to thank. she came over last night (she's kindergarten endorsement too) and watched my video with me and gave me ideas. actual, concrete ideas for classroom management! my prof has a PhD and she couldn't do that for me!! so i used one of those ideas, and guess what? I ROCK. why can't my prof see that that's what we need. we don't need theory. we don't need curriculum, really, either (just the standards crap). we need ideas, actual concrete ideas, for management. we need a bag o' tricks to pull from.

well, i'm glad i have friends who are supportive and resourceful. lori and jamie are the two people in the world who have brought me through this experience. thank you so much!!

i get observed next week too, but informally. she says she just wants to drop by to make sure everything's wrapping up ok. she needs to gather enough positive feedback. basically she says that previously i sucked and finally now she can write good stuff. oh well. i just hope she writes a lot of good stuff. it looks like i may pass student teaching after all. oh, and the port due date's been pushed to friday, possibly monday.

i'magonna go eat ice cream in celebration of my good day.

beth

Sunday, May 9

1 hr 50 minutes

this blog is dedicated to noah zapf who ran the indy mini marathon in 1 hr 50 minutes even with an inflamed tendon in his foot. noah, you're awesome. i hope you got a t-shirt for all your efforts. if you didn't, i'magonna make you one. no, that was not a typo, that was an italian accent. just for you. feel special.

sorry i can't write more about how awesome my brother-in-law is, but i've got stuff do to if i wanna graduate in two weeks (and i do!)

beth

Saturday, May 8

two weeks left

man, i've vented to so many people about student teaching that i really have neglected this theraputic outlet for lack of need. therapeutic? therapuetic? that word's messing me up. it's got a vowel diphthong sound to it, but i can't figure out two vowels that look right together in that syllable. u is a tricky like that, it can sound like a vowel diphthong without help from another letter. and that's your phonics lesson for the day. if you don't know what a vowel diphthong is.. well.. look it up.

anyway.

i'm at work. surprise surprise. josh's parents should be here soon with lunch, i believe. yay to family and free food. noah ran the mini-marathon in indy today. or at least that was the plan. then he got an inflamed tendon in his foot. apparently those hurt really badly. but he was going to get all hopped up on pain relievers and run anyway. i can understand. i mean, he's been training for this for months, and then to not run because of an injury you get in the last week before the race? horrible. as for me, i would never have started training in the first place because i would never desire to run that many miles. therefore i am the smarter of the two scenarios because i am the one without the inflamed tendon.

so, since the title of this blog is 'two weeks left,' i suppose i should talk about how i'm graduating soon.

or i could talk about how my professor says if i don't get better, i won't be passing student teaching, and in that case a more appropriate title for this blog would have been, 'i quit.'

or i could change subjects entirely and talk about how our car broke. in THAT case, i would appropriately change the title to 'can i borrow $1100?' and by 'borrow', i meant 'have'

so many choices!!

how about this:
you choose.
write in my comments what you want to hear about.
and here are my reasons for the copout:
1. i'm not sure that many people even read this, so is it worth writing about ALL that stuff if no one reads it?
2. i hate decisions.
3. why should i tell you about things you don't really want to hear about?
4. i hate decisions.
5. tis the season for voting
6. five reasons is enough

so LEAVE COMMENTS!
oh, and who is 'random guy,' speaking of leaving comments. you left a really nasty comment on one of my friends blogs, and it's just freakyscary, so... stop.

beth

Sunday, May 2

#5

Here's another addition to the famous people list:

I've also met Steve Green's driver. I got them a room when technically there weren't any rooms to give.

Whoa, I'm using capitol letters.. this is freaking me out.

I'm too distracted by my newly-discovered grammatical abilities to think of anything else to write.

Bye

Beth

now he wants pizza

so mr. sean kanan calls down (five times already) and says he wants pizza. well, it's 11pm in the middle of nowhere.. the two places that deliver here quit at 10. we tell him that, and his response is basically, "but i'm famous!" even the bold and the beautiful can't get a hoosier pizza place to deliver past ten on a weekend. sorry pal. just thought that was funny and wanted to pass it on.

Saturday, May 1

i could have been america's next top model

but i was back here writing this instead.

sean kanan is in town on the america's next top model search. yeah, that's right. he's looking for hot hicks, to borrow a term from melissa. and he's staying in my hotel. but i was being a lazy bum. if only i had been a good employee and waited out front to greet the guests, maybe, just maybe.. i mean, he was really wasted... but alas, i never met the guy. and so i'll never be a hot hick.

beth

the stars come out... to marion, indiana?

here's an updated list of all the celebrities i've met while working here at the country inn and suites:

1. modelle metcalf (only taylor people will understand the significance of this)

2. the guy who invented tuna-in-a-bag

3. the mayor of marion and his brother

4. sean kanan from the bold and the beautiful (k, so i never really saw him, but i talked to him on the phone, convinced him not to walk to the nearest bar, and set a wake-up call for him - he was pretty wasted)

pretty cool, huh. i know you're all extremely jealous.

beth