Benjamin David Zapf

We were released from the hospital at 5:55pm yesterday and waited just that long to fill out the birth certificate information. We are so decisive like that. The middle name comes from Josh's dad, which we thought made sense due to the fact Benjamin was born on his grandpa's birthday. And it sounds good together, don't you agree?

But before I move on from the name, let's get one thing straight. His name is Benjamin. Not Ben. Not Benny. Not Benji. So far, we haven't come across a nickname that sounds anywhere as good as the original whole first name. If we do, we'll let you know. But for now, the only acceptable name is Benjamin. :-) That was the reason we delayed so long in finally putting his name in ink.

Benjamin is his sister's opposite. He is so calm and quiet. He sleeps most of his young life away, including at night so I'm not complaining. But I know that can't last forever; I'm just enjoying it while I can. Olivia is loving her baby brother. She comes and sits on the couch next to whoever is holding him and points to her lap so that you know it is her turn now. But she requires constant supervision as she loves to poke him in his soft spot on his head, as well as his eyes and, well, face in general. She loves his little hands. Since she is not allowed to poke his face, she uses his hands to do so instead.

Josh is the doting father. I think I may have only changed two or three diapers so far. What a blessing he is! And he is playing with Olivia as well to make sure she doesn't feel left out, which she doesn't seem to be so far. He is so adoring when it comes to his little boy. He enjoys putting him in BLUE clothes that have SPORTS on them instead of frills and ribbons.

Josh's mom is here helping out and I'm sure I would be nothing but a frazzled ball of nerves if she weren't. She feeds Olivia and cleans up her messes, she does the laundry and grocery shopping... I'm pretty sure I could get her to clean the bathroom before she leaves, too... ;-)

And as for me, I'm doing well. Recovery from childbirth is a slow process, but as surrounded as I am with love and help, I'm sure I'll be good to go in no time. I can't get over how blessed I am to have two beautiful and healthy children. God has blessed this whole event down to the smallest detail.

And with that, I leave you with pictures! I don't know how often I post, but I'm sure you'll be waiting with baited breath for more to come in the future.

Sorry, I've been waiting for a day now for the pictures to upload to Picasa. When they finally do, I'll put them up. Sorry again.

baby's here!!

Hey y'all, Ashley here! Beth asked me to let all her readers know that her baby arrived safe and sound this evening. Here is what I posted in my own blog about it:

I am SOOO happy to announce to the whole blogging world that the newest little Zapf was born today at 5:55pm! He was delivered completely naturally, so kudos to Beth!! Beth is tired, but doing well. Her new son is 8 lbs and 13 ounces, and 20 1/4 inches long. Beth reports that he has dark eyes and hair, and he has the most quiet and content personality (especially compared to his older sister!). Olivia is completely the doting sister, and (so far) isn’t jealous at all! Beth told me that before she would ask Olivia where “baby brother” was, and Olivia would point to Beth’s tummy. After the baby was born today, Beth asked Olivia, “Where’s baby brother?” Olivia then pointed to the baby! Such a smart girl!

As soon as I get a picture, I will post it here! Oh, and as soon as Beth tells me the name they’ve decided, I will inform you of that too. :-)

A special message to Joel from Beth: you'll have to come visit her in the hospital so call her!

Still Here

Turns out I got some sleep last night. Praise the Lord, because I don't know too many labors that pause for a good eight hours so that the mommy can sleep. Okay, so there were a few contractions during the night, and they started back up regularly at 6:45. But overall? My God is gracious and my baby already knows his nights and days. A genius, I tell you - just like his daddy.

Contractions

So anyone who's talked to me much the past couple weeks knows I've been getting Braxton Hicks contractions pretty regularly. Braxton Hicks don't hurt; they just make my uterus hard as a ball. It's more amusing than anything.

Well, something's changing. They hurt now. So much so that I have to sit down.

Every 8-12 minutes.

Everyone Else is Doing It...

Whoops, forgot to blog yesterday. Bet you thought I had a baby. Nope! So here's something for you to read while you wait... and wait... and wait some more.

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Physical Touch
with a secondary love language being
Words of Affirmation.

Complete set of results

Physical Touch:		11
Words of Affirmation:		9
Receiving Gifts:		7
Quality Time:		2
Acts of Service:		1

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

Now I tag Jes and Joel (because he hasn't blogged anything significant in awhile...)

Am I Missing Something?

I was a week early and completely unprepared with Olivia.

Yet I can't help but wonder if God has given me this extra time before Baby Boy so I could learn/realize/prepare something I haven't yet figured out.

It's beginning to feel surreal. I was prepared for labor last Wednesday, but the anxiety I felt while approaching that due date has only decreased each day that has passed since. I don't spend much time imagining him in my arms anymore. I don't contemplate the 2 a.m. feedings anymore. I quit rehearsing in my head how nap schedules will work with two children. I stopped planning the difference between changing boy diapers and changing girl diapers. Not to mention all the imaginary labor pains I interpreted every ache and twinge to be. The more I think on such things, the slower the time passes. I think this belly might just be permanent.

This is not pre-post-partum depression. I DO long for my baby boy to be in my arms. I just can't figure out why he's not here yet. What am I missing, God? Why am I not ready yet?

Little Thief

Caught in action.

My Celebrity Look-alikes

My cool celebrity look-alike collage from MyHeritage.com. Get one for yourself.

When Toddlers Do Laundry

P3170026
Originally uploaded by thezapfs.

I was getting ready to throw a load in the washer this morning when I noticed my Downy ball rattled a bit more than usual.

Look closely. Yep, that's popcorn. In my Downy ball.
And it's not easy to get out, either.

I love life with a toddler!

Change Is Good!

So I had my first ever 40 week prenatal appointment today. I only got to 39 with Olivia. And I made an appointment for next week. A 41 week prenatal appointment. What do you think? Will I have to cancel? I told the doctor today that I'd prefer to go to 42 weeks rather than get induced. He said that would be fine and that means if I make it to next week, they'll give me a nonstress test. Then I'll have another appointment three days later and a final one at 42 weeks. Then they schedule the induction.

But that really has nothing to do with change, or why Change Is Good.

The change is the extra centimeter that I dilated over this past week! I'm up to THREE centimeters! Something's happening! Question is, will it happen fast enough to beat the two week deadline that modern science has put on my pregnancy.

Is My Child the Only One...

... who regularly turns blueberry pancakes into face paint?

Some people wonder at our anal-retentiveness that we insist our 20 month old eats naked. Let this be proof that we have ample reason. There might have been perhaps 6-8 blueberries in that pancake. She found them all.

(By the way, that is her Eating Smock which she eats in when it's too cold to eat naked. It's one of my old T-shirts and now is covered with spaghetti, chocolate, and blueberry stains.)

Pockets

Olivia found her pockets.
And then began spinning.
And then fell down.

How Do You Teach Sharing?

It seems there are two ways a parent can attempt teach her child to share.

1. While playing with the child, the child comes to take all of the parent's toys, leaving the parent with nothing. The parent can refuse to give all her toys away, thus giving the child a real-world example of when to share and teaching the child that she cannot have everything she wants and must share with others.
   
   Or...
   
   
2. While playing with the child, the child comes to take all of the parent's toys, leaving the parent with nothing. The parent can freely give the toys to the child, showing by example what sharing looks like.

Which way would teach a 20 month old the correct concept of sharing? I feel that in #1, I am teaching her selfishness, but in #2 I am teaching her that she can get her way everytime.

In case you couldn't tell, there was an instance recently where I had to decide which path to take. Olivia and I were playing with dixie cups. She loves the fact that they stack into each other. But she wouldn't let me have any. (I wanted to try speed stacking)

She kept trying to take them away from me and I attempted to teach her to share using method #1. This resulted in a half an hour temper of tantrums as she kept trying to come and sneak my cups away from me.

Then I came to the realization that there are two possible ways to teach sharing and that I might possibly be teaching selfishness with this technique. So I switched over to method #2. But I only gave her half of my cups. I told her, "I'm going to share my cups with you." "Would you like me to share my cups?" Well, she gladly took what I was sharing, and then screamed for the rest. She even tried bartering. She came up with a book and offered it to me. Then tried to take my cups. She brought me my tea (it was luke warm and half-empty, don't go calling DCFS). While I was thanking her, she tried to take my cups.

So there I am, sitting on the couch, holding my remaining three dixie cups (along with a book and a mug of half-empty tea), and praying to God for direction and wisdom.

Oh, and Olivia is screaming and crying throughout this whole process.

And then I switched whole-heartedly over to method #2. I asked, "Would you like me to share my cups?" And then I gave her my last three cups. And she smiled. Her collection was complete. (Humming the song from the Little Mermaid now...). And I'm left there wondering if I did the right thing.

I come over here to blog my dilemna and Olivia calls out to me. She wants to share her cups with me! She would give me half her stack and then take them back one at a time to stack into her one big pile. Then she would give me half again and repeat the process. Each time she gave me some of her cups, I would exclaim, "Thank you! You're sharing with me!" Eventually, everytime she gave me half her cups, she would stop and applaud herself for her good deeds.

So I don't know if it was one method in particular or a combination of all of them, but I think we might have learned something here today...

Happy Due Date To Me

That would be the song my mother-in-law just sang to me over the phone.* Creative, isn't she?

So today is it. According to the ultrasound predictions, I should be giving birth any moment now.

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

Yeah, still pregnant.

But don't you worry about me. Or that baby (who is actively hiccuping as I type this). I'm actually very pleased that he's behaving the way he is. He's acting like Josh already. How blessed I would be to have a son like my husband! Josh was a week late, by the way. Only, when his mom went in for her appointment a month before her due date, her doctor told her he would be coming any day. So instead of only being a week late, it seemed more like he was a month late. So, as I'm pretty sure I don't have a month left, I'm think I'll be okay.

Well, that said, you can rest easy. (And I know from the amount of phone calls I've received today, some of you are more anxious than I am!) I don't have a baby yet. I'll let you know when he comes. :-) Or you can just suspect when I stop blogging that I've most likely had my baby.

*She, of course, substituted "You" for "Me".

Anger Management

So I've been trying to post pictures for the past couple days and Blogger won't let me. Not through Picasa and not through the normal upload process. Anyone else having this trouble? Until I figure it out (or you do for me) you'll just have to put up with written posts. Like this one:

Olivia has progressed from unbridled rage to a form of anger management. Only, we're not sure how healthy her particular form of "anger management" really is.

See, she bites things.

And not just a playful nibble. In the middle of a tantrum, she will look around for a suitable object (amazing that she does this in the heat of the moment), most of the time it's in her hands or she's wearing it. Occasionally, it's the couch. Then she grips it with her little teeth and growls like a rabid little animal while shaking her head back and forth ferociously. Most times she'll test out a couple things before finding her preferred biting object. It's so humorous to see her running around the room biting things.

But we need to work on not laughing because this is most likely something that should not be encouraged. Especially when the suitable biting-object is her own finger.

Who Needs Words?

Olivia doesn't. Let's count the words she can and does say:

1. Tur-toe (turtle)
2. Pup-pay (puppy)
3. Bee-bee (baby)
4. Mo-ah? (more)
5. Do (We haven't figured out yet if this is "do" or "you". It's always been used as a command when she wants us to do something.)

(Note the distinct absense of the typical "Mama, Dada, and No".)

Everything else is pretty much just sounds. Our favorite is "Widgeh-widgeh-widgeh-widget".

But don't you dare assume that she's slow in any regards! She's managed to get along just fine with other ways of communicating. Mainly pointing and dragging us around the apartment until we come across what it is she wants.

Other accomplishments that I'm rather proud of her for:

1. Putting together a complex geometric puzzle without mistake (and this puzzle includes pentagons and hexagons (which I get confused when I try to put the puzzle together)).
2. Taking out DVDs from their case, opening up the DVD player, taking out the DVD in there and replacing it with VeggieTales.
3. She helps unload the dishwasher and knows where every utensil goes (which of the three drawers, or up on a hook!).
4. She dusts!
5. Before she goes to bed each night, she takes her two baby dolls, puts them on their own shelf, covers them with their own blanket, and places a book on them for them to read - should they have troubles falling asleep.
6. She knows where "Baby Brother" is. (The trick is, will she understand when he's on the outside that he's the same "Baby Brother" that was on the inside?)
7. I could go on and on.

The point is: You can read all the guidelines and listen to all the critics and become a nervous wreck because your child isn't doing things exactly like their children are OR you can trust that your child will develop into her own person at her own time. Thank the Lord I have such a beautifully unique child! How boring would life be if she were exactly the same as everyone else's child?

I Give Up

There is no point what-so-ever in trying to compare different pregnancies, labors, or children. God has taught me this before my second child has even been born. Isn't He nice like that?

With Olivia, I felt no contractions until my water broke and had her five and a half hours later (who knows how much faster that would have gone if I would have know that being upright and moving is much more productive to labor than simply laying on my back watching Sponge Bob Square Pants). With this baby, I've been feeling regular Braxton Hicks contractions for the past two weeks and haven't dilated since week 37. Yep, I'm still at 2cm. The only difference is that the head is now in a -1 position as opposed to the -2 it's been for the past 2 weeks. That means it's a little further down. Not exactly what I've come to expect from my weekly doctor appointments that I had with Olivia where I progressed by 2cm each week.

So I'm left with no predictions. No way of controlling this process. You think maybe that's why God gave the "gift" of childbirth to women instead of men? I think we tend to try to organize and control our lives a lot more than men do. And childbirth (right alongside child-rearing!) is the opposite of "control" unless you want to do the whole induction/epidural combo. Which, as I already explained in a previous post, I don't want this time.

So I put it in God's hands. Here You go.

I've also decided to try Raspberry Tea. Even though it's not *supposed to* cause labor to start, it has been proven in some studies to make your contractions more efficient. I was drinking this while pregnant with Olivia and I didn't even know the benefits! I was just more of a stickler about caffiene and this was my favorite flavor herbal tea.

Terrible Twos

I have decided I want nothing to do with the Terrible Twos.

You mothers of children aged two and older are laughing at me right now.

Let me explain myself:
I've come to the conclusion that I do not want to use or hear the phrase "Terrible Twos" in reference to my daughter. What is there to benefit from labeling a child as "Terrible" for an entire year of her life? I should not make her actions seem worse than they are by using that phrase. Also, I cannot make her actions acceptable simply by using that phrase. And I should be building my daughter up in the eyes of others, not tearing her down. I am proud of her. Quirks and all. Bathtub poopies and all.

Disobedience is a frustration to parents. As are temper tantrums. But there is a reason for them. My daughter is learning how to live with boundaries. She is learning what to do with her free will within the guidelines we have set up for her. It must be a frustration to her during this time in her life. She is realizing her independence and her responsibilities all at the same time and is trying desperately to figure out how to mesh them together and still keep everyone around her happy, including herself.

Labelling this stage of her life as "Terrible" puts a bad taste in my mouth and mind before she even has a chance to disobey. How unfair to her. This is a wonderful stage of discovery and learning. Conversely, it can also be tempting to let disobedience slide when you have a ready excuse such as the "Terrible Twos". This is also unfair to her as she needs stability. Right is right and wrong is wrong, no matter what age you are.

Becoming a parent has given me so much more appreciation for the ultimate patience and love of God. I'm 24 years old and I am still trying to mesh together my free will and my responsibilities. And He has yet to call me "Terrible."

Bah. Nothing. Nothing At All.

So I went to the doctor again today. Nobody wins. Nobody guessed that I would be exactly the same as I was the week before. No changes what-so-ever. 2cm and 80% effaced. And I've been having Braxton Hicks contractions all week. I didn't get those at all with Olivia, so I was convinced that I must be progressing faster this time. Nope.

But God is in control and He knows best. So I'll just trust that He's got a reason for this delay of progress.*

So any takers on next week? Will I still be pregnant next week? If so, how far along? I will be 39 weeks next time I go in, which is when I was induced and had Olivia last time.

*For those of you not following this story closely: With Olivia, I progressed by 2cm every week from 36 weeks until I reached 5 cm and then was induced at 39 weeks.

Oh, and you people guessing times that the baby will be born, be sure you put an a.m. or p.m. so I know how nice (or mean) you're being.

Is My Child the Only One...

Who sees the bathtub as one big toilet?!

Okay, I know it's normal for the occasional poopy to slip out during bathtime, but my child has an unusually high percentage rate. I'd say at least 75% of the time. That's 3 out of every 4 baths that have to be repeated. I have to hold the squirmy child in a towel while the Daddy (bless his heart) cleans out the tub, cleans off the tub mat, cleans off the drain stopper. (He used to have to clean off ever single letter of the alphabet as well, but we stopped giving her toys until she's old enough to control her colon).

So if you ever stay with us, rest assured, our tub IS very clean. It gets cleaned out very well just about every other day. I know some hotels that aren't that clean.

My Own March Madness

Ok, I've seen all you and your basketball pools and what-not. Well, here's something that interests me far more.

Let's see who can guess the closest on the following:
1) How dilated will I be on Friday?
2) What day will Baby Boy be born on?
3) What time will Baby Boy be born?
4) How much will he weigh?
5) How long will he be?
And the bonus question: What name will we ultimately decide on?

And because I have no prizes to give out and no way to organize it, this will be a free pool! What a great value! Of course, if anyone wants to organize it for me, I'd appreciate it greatly... *cough* JEREMY *cough*. I think the prize last time was one glorious goldfish! Who won that, anyway? Was said goldfish actually ever delivered? If so, is he still alive? If not, is he still alive?

Okay, leave lots of comments because that's how I validate my existance.

2 cm & 80%

So I'm a bit behind in one category and a bit ahead in the other. (Considering with Olivia at 37 weeks, I was 3cm and 75%.) But congratulations to Ashley!! Tell me what you want and I'll cook it for you next time you come over. Oh, and I'm officially declaring a tie between Ashley and Jes, since Jes wanted to choose 2 cm, but Ashley beat her to it, so she went with 2.5, even though she knew they didn't measure in half centimeters. So you can both come on over - just tell me by the Monday before what you want so I can shop for it. :-)

But I'm excited. He almost didn't check my cervix because the nurse asked if I was having contractions or any other sign of labor and I said "no," like I always do. And when she told me he might not check me until next week then, I said, "Oh, but I was 3 cm dilated at this point in my last pregnancy. I didn't feel the contractions until they broke my water - and at that point I was around 7cm." Her eyes got a little bigger and she decided maybe the doctor should check me after all. Hehe.

But the reason I'm excited is because that means this pregnancy is turning out to be very similar to Olivia's (which, as mentioned above, was rather painless until the intervention). And since I've decided to do this labor with as few interventions as possible, maybe this one will be even more painless. The doctor told me to call if I did start having contractions and they were five minutes apart, but then he looked at me and said, "Or if your water breaks, which seems might be more likely." He said if that happens, to simply call on the way to the hospital. I told him I still had a few hours in between water-breakage and birth last time, but he told me they go quicker the second (and third, forth, so on) time.

So my hope and prayer? That since I'm letting my body (and God, of course) do things the way He intended, maybe my water won't break until I'm fully dilated and ready to push. And maybe I won't feel contractions until then either. And since this is my second baby, maybe the pushing stage will go much more quickly (read: less painfully) and I won't be as tempted to get the epidural.

Why don't I just get induced and get the epidural? Because induction is not a natural thing and could have dangerous side effects leading to emergency C-sections (also not a very natural thing and a major surgery). And induction leads to more painful and more intense contractions. During labor you are supposed to have at least 60 seconds in between contractions. Because of the pitocin, my contractions came three at a time with less than half a minute in between each set of three. And why do I not want an epidural? Because 1) It's rather boring to just lay there in bed because you can't move your legs and 2) my body wasn't made to give birth laying down flat on my back. That leads to more complications that could (and did, in my case) make for a longer and more painful recovery. I decided this time that I would rather go through a couple hours of intense pain than a couple weeks less intense, but still debilitating pain. And because there has been research done that proves a link between breastfeeding problems and epidurals. And because epidurals involve sticking a needle in your spine.

I'm glad this pregnancy is following so closely to Olivia's because I have some idea of what to expect. With Olivia, when they told me I was dilated, I thought I would give birth at any moment. Instead, it took a few weeks. Now I know more about how my body works. I'm still praying for a March 9th delivery (have I explained that? It's Josh's first day of spring break), but I'm okay with whatever God deems best.

So what do you think I'll be at next Friday?

Baby Zapf NEEDS You!

So... the database... something something... broken... something something... the old Zapf baby voting site is down. And it is unclear at this time whether or not the results will ever be recovered.

So go here to the new site and PLEASE VOTE AGAIN! The baby could come at any time now! (Or we could have another month). Help us name our child!